


Disaster: Averted

by orpheous87



Series: Battleships 2019 [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Dare, Friends to Lovers, HP Battleships 2019, Hand Jobs, M/M, Public Hand Jobs, Three Broomsticks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 17:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19795774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orpheous87/pseuds/orpheous87
Summary: Harry Potter is a disaster zone when it comes to dating. Enter: Draco Malfoy and his snark.





	Disaster: Averted

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Battleships and the prompt: 
> 
> _“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” Pairing + banter + raising the stakes. Choose the setting, either 1) the pub ~~-OR- 2) a dinner party -OR- 3) Hogwarts~~_
> 
> Thank you to [Etalice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etalice/pseuds/Etalice) for betaing this (not to mention encouraging me to write the smut)! ❤️

After yet another disastrous date, Harry consoled himself with a pint of Butterbeer in The Leaky Cauldron while waiting for Ron and Hermione to turn up. 

A shadow fell over him, but he didn’t look up, assuming it was Ron. “You took your time.”

“I didn’t realise you were expecting me to be quicker.”

Harry’s head snapped up. That wasn’t Ron’s voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you, too, Potter,” Draco said, raising an eyebrow. 

Harry huffed and dropped his chin back onto his arms. “Come to make fun of me?”

“What have you done that requires me to make fun of you?” Draco asked, sipping on a glass of something pink. 

“I’m supposed to be on a date,” Harry muttered. 

“Ah. Yet, here you are. Alone,” Draco finished, nodding slightly. “I can see why you’d think I’d make fun of you. And you’re right, as it happens. It’s a good job you were better at catching the snitch at school than you are at keeping a relationship or Gryffindor would still be waiting to win the Quidditch cup now!”

“Thanks very much,” Harry huffed. “Are you done? Or were you planning on staying to make me even more miserable?” 

Draco pretended to consider what Harry was asking for a few moments, before sitting down opposite him. “I’ll stay, I think,” he said. “I’ve still got a few insults I could use.” 

“At least get me another drink then,” Harry sighed, lifting his gaze to look at Draco.

Draco raised an eyebrow and looked at the pint glass in front of Harry. “Butterbeer doesn’t quite cut it, does it?” he said, rolling his eyes. “You really don’t know how to wallow properly, do you?”

Before Harry could answer, Draco had disappeared to the bar. He brought back with him a glass of the same pink stuff that he was drinking. “Here. Try this.” 

“What is it?” Harry asked suspiciously, sniffing at the glass slightly. 

“Just try it,” Draco replied, sipping from his own glass again. “Trust me. It’ll help you better than that bloody Butterbeer!”

Harry frowned but lifted his glass and swallowed a large mouthful. He immediately broke into a coughing fit, his eyes watering madly. 

Draco watched on in amusement, still sipping at his own drink. 

“You twat,” Harry croaked, once the coughing had subsided. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“More fun this way,” Draco smirked. “Why did _you_ think I was only sipping mine?” 

“Because you’re a ponce,” Harry muttered, taking his glasses off and wiping his eyes furiously. 

Draco simply raised an eyebrow and took another sip from his glass. 

“Anyway, it’s not like _you’ve_ had a relationship last longer than two minutes either,” Harry continued huffily as he put his glasses back. “You can’t make fun of me.” 

“Potter, you invited me to make fun of you when I got here,” Draco replied with exasperation. “I wasn’t going to miss that chance, was I? I’ve had longer relationships in the last year than you have and it’s always been ended on _my_ terms. Can you say the same?” 

Harry glared at Draco, all the while wishing that Ron would hurry up. “If you’re so good at all this, how come you’re not in a relationship now then?” 

“He wasn’t what I was looking for,” Draco shrugged. “None of them have been able to… _handle_ me.” 

Harry snorted. “I bet I could,” he muttered, without thinking. 

Draco snorted this time, even louder than Harry had done. “Oh, please. You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions!” 

“Oh yeah?” Harry asked, eyes flashing with the excitement of a challenge. “You want to try me?” 

“Exactly what are you proposing, Potter?” Draco asked slowly, a smirk playing across his face. 

“That we go on a date,” Harry replied. “Maybe more than one, if you’re lucky.” 

Draco raised his eyebrow. “I wouldn’t be getting too cocky yet, Potter. Remember that you’re currently sitting here because you’ve had yet another disaster.” 

Harry waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, wondering where his newfound courage had come from. “How about it? Do _you_ think you can handle _me_?” 

Draco’s eyes gleamed with amusement and he nodded. “Oh, I’m sure I can handle you just fine, Potter. Be warned though - I don’t come cheap!” 

“We’ll see about that,” Harry replied. “I have many _hidden_ talents.” 

“Now that sounds interesting,” Draco said, licking his lips. “Do you plan on showing me these talents of yours?” 

“What, now?” Harry asked, faltering as Draco’s question took him by surprise. 

“No time like the present, is there?” Draco said, raising his eyebrow again. “Or are you scared, Potter?” 

Harry couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his face. “You wish,” he replied. 

Draco smirked and got up, making his way around the table to sit beside Harry. “That’s better,” he said. “Much more… _exciting_ on this side of the table, isn’t it?” 

“Mmm,” Harry said, nodding. “Much more exciting than over there.” He shifted closer to Draco, placing one hand on his knee. 

Draco raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He simply raised his glass and took another sip. 

Harry took the raised eyebrow as a sign to continue and let his hand creep further up Draco’s leg, resting it briefly on his thigh. His eyes never left Draco’s face, challenging him to stop him. 

Draco shifted in his seat, angling his body more towards Harry. “Do continue, Potter,” he murmured. “Show me you can handle me.” 

Harry leant in close, his mouth next to Draco’s ear. “Oh, I’ll show you alright,” he whispered, while at the same time, his hand found its way to Draco’s zip. The shiver he felt from Draco gave him a small thrill of excitement. He flicked his tongue out and lightly traced the shell of Draco’s ear, delighting in the flinch it brought. 

“Interesting tactic,” Draco muttered, his voice slightly more shaky than previously. 

Harry inched Draco’s zip down carefully, slipping his fingers inside. He swallowed, suddenly nervous about what they were doing. 

“Don’t you dare stop,” Draco whispered harshly. “Not now.”

Harry let his gaze meet Draco’s and he nodded slightly. Moving his hand slightly, he felt them brush against the unmistakable bulge concealed by the fabric and his breathing quickened. 

Draco’s breath hitched and his cock jumped at Harry’s light touch. 

Harry let his fingers creep up and over the waistband of Draco’s boxer shorts, wishing he could just vanish them. He paused as someone passed by their table. 

Draco growled softly under his breath as Harry’s hand went still. “I swear to Merlin, Potter…” 

“Shut up,” Harry murmured, capturing Draco’s lips with his own in a moment of confidence. He kissed Draco deeply while wrapping his fingers around his growing erection. As their tongues seemed to wrestle for control of the kiss, Harry swiped his thumb lightly over the head that was already slick with pre-cum and he felt Draco gasp against his lips. 

Harry repeated the motion before beginning to move his hand slowly. He deepened the kiss even more, forgetting where they were. His hand kept moving, his thumb occasionally swiping across the head again and each time that happened, a little shudder ran through Draco’s body. 

“I’m close,” Draco whispered, breaking the kiss, panting slightly. 

Before Harry could reply, Ron plonked himself in the chair opposite and let out a long groan. “I am knackered.” 

Draco closed his eyes in frustration and Harry could tell that he desperately wanted to fling an insult at Ron. 

“Er…” Harry began, the movement of his hand slowing down. “Why?”

Draco’s eyes snapped open and he glared at Harry. 

Harry couldn’t help but smirk back, wiggling his eyebrows slightly. 

“I’ve been running around after Rose all day,” Ron said, looking over his shoulder. “Hermione is getting the drinks in.” 

“Shouldn’t you go and help her?” Draco asked, his voice coming out slightly strangled, though Harry knew he was trying to keep it steady. 

“It’s only two drinks,” Ron said, shrugging. “She’ll be fine.” 

Draco let his head fall back against the top of the couch, groaning in response. 

“Why don’t you go and tell her to get us a couple more drinks in?” Harry suggested, squeezing his hand around Draco’s length slightly. 

“Seriously?” Ron asked with a groan. “Didn’t you hear me say I’m knackered?”

“Yes. Go and get us drinks,” Harry said firmly, giving Ron a glare.

“Alright, alright, I get the message,” Ron muttered, standing up and going to join Hermione at the bar. 

“Thank Merlin,” Draco breathed, meeting Harry’s gaze again. “Finish the job. Now.” 

Harry grinned and leant in to kiss Draco again, letting his hand move faster again. He felt Draco tense under his grip and then, he felt the hot, sticky liquid spilling over his hand as Draco came with his groan swallowed by the kiss. 

Harry nibbled at Draco’s lower lip gently as they continued to kiss, Draco’s heart rate slowing to a normal rhythm. 

Neither of them noticed Ron return to the table, Hermione at his side. “It’s about time!”

They broke apart, guiltily, and gazed at Ron. “What?” Harry asked. 

“You two. We’ve all wondered when you’d get your acts together,” Ron said, sitting back down. 

Harry and Draco glanced at each other, seemingly both coming to the same decision. Harry released Draco, tucking him back into his boxer shorts and casting a wordless cleaning charm before silently doing the zip of his trousers back up. 

“Yeah,” he said, standing up and pulling Draco up by the hand. “Sorry, I don’t think we’ll have time for those drinks after all.” 

Draco gave Ron a lazy grin as he led Harry out of the booth they were in and towards the door. When they were outside, he stopped walking and turned to Harry. “Well, Potter… you weren’t lying.” 

Harry grinned too. “I told you I could handle you,” he said. “Not that I ever thought I would do anything like that in public.” 

“Maybe not, but I’d like a repeat performance,” Draco said softly, pulling Harry into his arms. “ _In private_ ,” he added in a whisper. 

“It’d be my pleasure,” Harry replied, capturing Draco’s lips once more as he Apparated them away to the bedroom of Grimmauld Place.


End file.
